


Because Second's Not the Same

by pidgeotto_gunderson



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Lance, F/M, Hotels, How Do I Tag, I'm Sorry, Keith angst, Keith is a Mess, M/M, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Only mentioned though, PINING KEITH, Songfic, and while he's not with nyma, based on halsey's is there somewhere, he's with keith, i just had a lot of feelings about this song in relation to klance, in a way? - Freeform, is also just mentioned, just a bunch of scenes, klangst, lance is on and off with nyma, this doesn't even have an actual plot, this probably sucks lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 17:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8724148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidgeotto_gunderson/pseuds/pidgeotto_gunderson
Summary: i'm trying not to let it show

  that i don't wanna let this go

  is there somewhere you can meet me? 
  Klance songfic based on Halsey's 'Is There Somewhere', in which Lance has an on again/off again relationship with Nyma, and Keith is there to fill in the empty space.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for this, honestly.

_you were dancing in your tube socks_

_in our hotel room_

_flashing those eyes like highway signs_

 

lance is spinning around the little hotel room, his blue socks gliding across the floor, shaking his hips to some catchy pop song playing on the radio. keith is watching, smiling with his mouth and not his eyes, wishing, wanting, waiting for god to stop being such a cruel mistress. the music changes to a slower song ( _kiss me_ by ed sheeran, keith knows it from just the first two bars. he obsesses), and lance slides over to him. his eyes are bright, just like his smile; he holds out a hand to keith, and then they're dancing. keith trips over his own feet and lance is decidedly fantastic. lance starts to sing, soft and melodic, and keith is _lost._

 

_light one up and hand it over_

_rest your head upon my shoulder_

_just wanna feel your lips against my skin_

 

they sit on the balcony together, lance’s head on keith’s shoulder, passing a cigarette back and forth. the smoke burns keith’s throat (it hurts, it hurts, and yet it feels so good). he wants to go somewhere, anywhere, he wants to run and hide from this - from lance - because he's going to lose his mind if he stays. but lance is pressing his lips to keith’s neck, and keith tilts his head and gives a breathy sigh and hates himself and stays.

 

_white sheets, bright lights_

_crooked teeth and the night life_

_you told me this is right where it begins_

 

keith’s fingers slide through lance’s hair. lance makes a quiet, content noise in the back of his throat from where he lays with his head on keith’s chest, shifts slightly, trails his fingertips down keith’s arm. their legs are tangled together under the bedsheets and keith never wants to move. hair tickles his chin and he lets his eyes flutter shut. right before he falls asleep, there's a whisper in his ear. “this is where it begins, keith,” lance murmurs, and nothing else matters.

 

_but your lips hang heavy_

_underneath me_

_and i promised myself i wouldn't let you complete me_

 

it’s never going to last. there’s no way to spin it that ends without the inevitable split of (keithandlance) becoming (keith) and (lance). thing is, keith has always been good at pretending - pretending he has a family, pretending he isn’t lonely, oh, so lonely, pretending lance isn’t the center of his entire universe (pretending that lance feels the same) - and so good at lying. he swore he wouldn’t let this go so far (he lied). he swore that last time was the last time (he lied). he swore he wouldn’t let lance be the piece he’s been missing all his life (and oh, how he lied).

 

_i'm trying not to let it show_

_that i don't wanna let this go_

_is there somewhere you can meet me?_

 

he lets lance slip out of his fingers, over and over and over, because he’s too scared to hold on. fear has dug its roots so deep in keith’s psyche, a blooming seed of anxiety attacks and abandonment issues that’s been growing ever since he was born. it’s twisted and twirled around his brain and around his heart with a vice-like grip, holding his feelings hostage somewhere keith can’t reach. anything that could possibly ruin the few good things he has is kept under lock and key, and keith has never thought to question that until now (until lance). but the longer you’ve had a habit, the harder it is to break.

 

_cause i clutched your arms_

_like stairway railings_

_and you clutched my brain_

_and eased my ailings_

 

it takes months for keith to allow himself to cry in front of lance. it’s one of those nights - nightmares and cold sweats and hyperventilating and deep-seated self-loathing. lance finds keith in the bathroom, clutching a bottle of vodka to his chest, shaking like a leaf, muttering about fire and foster homes and fear. lance’s eyes sparkle with unshed tears - just for a second - before he sets his jaw, wrestles the bottle out of keith’s hands, and holds him as he cries.

 

_you're writing lines ‘bout me_

_romantic poetry_

_your girl’s got red in her cheeks_

_cause we're something she can't see_

 

 **such a romantic,** keith thinks, amused, as lance begins to recite yet another shitty, hand-written poem, gesturing dramatically as he does. keith misses most of what he says (he’s too busy staring), though the phrase ‘shining star, brightest in the universe’ definitely catches his attention. he’s completely and totally content to just watch the way lance’s lips curve around keith’s name - but it’s ruined, completely and totally ruined, by lance’s phone. britney spears’ _toxic_ plays for the few seconds before lance answers (keith snorts at the song choice and lance flips him off). Then lance is saying, “nyma, what are you -” and keith is losing again.

 

_and i try to refrain_

_but you're stuck in my brain_

_and all i do is cry and complain_

_because second’s not the same_

 

the problem isn't that lance can't decide, or that he doesn't know what he wants. because lance knows exactly what he wants. the problem is that it's not keith. it's on-and-off-again with nyma and keith only fills in the vacant space, only covers the holes in lance’s heart with flimsy band aids that are never going to last. he's second to a girl who treats lance like shit (how do you hurt someone so special, how do you find it in yourself to break something so delicate?), and every time lance and nyma have it out, keith is there. keith is there with open arms and the words ‘ _maybe it'll be different this time_ ’ taunting him from the depths of the hell inside his head (because he could never turn lance away, could never say no to him, as much as the voice in his head tells him to. that voice sounds suspiciously like shiro). he hates himself for it. he does it anyway.

 

he knows, deep down, that he’s never going to stop.

 

 _i’m sorry but i fell in love tonight_  
“i’m so sorry. it wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”  
_i didn't mean to fall in love tonight_  
“i didn’t mean for this to go so far.”  
_you're looking like you fell in love tonight_  
“please tell me you feel the same way.”  
_can we pretend that we're in love?_  
“lie to me and tell me you love me.”

 

_i’m sorry but i fell in love tonight_

_i didn't mean to fall in love tonight_

_you're looking like you fell in love tonight_

 

_can we pretend that we're in love?_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted fic in the fandom, please go easy on me lmao


End file.
